Category Archives: Humour

Roast of Peter Campbell

On the occasion of his 80th Birthday

Saturday 29 July 2017

Ladies and Gentlemen, I stand before you today to roast the man of the hour.  A roast is a humorous look back on the life of a man who has had plenty of time to make plenty of mistakes.  Let’s begin!

My first enduring (injuring?) memory of Peter was at the wedding.  I’m sure we must have met before then, but this is what sticks out for me.  Peter was walking Fiona down the aisle to me.  Previously, Fiona had asked her father for some advice about the ceremony, as she knew she would be nervous and might forget something important.  So, he told her, “it’s easy.  Just remember to walk down the aisle.”

“Ok, I’ll remember, ‘aisle’,” said Fiona.

“Then stop at the altar,” said Peter.

“Ok, I’ll remember, ‘altar’,” said Fiona.

“Then, we’ll sing a hymn,” said Peter.

“Ok, I’ll remember, ‘hymn’,” said Fiona.

It was most disconcerting to me, to hear my bride-to-be, as she was marching down the aisle, repeating over and over under her breath, “aisle-altar-hymn, I’ll alter him!”

I was still recovering from this turn of events, when they both arrived at the front of the church.  Peter looked at me.  I looked at Fiona.  Fiona looked at her Dad.  Then Peter looked at Fiona, I looked at Peter and Fiona looked at me.  I wasn’t sure if he was going to say a few words or not.  So we waited.  This went on for an uncomfortable period of time.  Eventually Peter took the hint and sat down.

My second memory of Peter was about a year later.  We decided to meet up about half-way between Otautau and Wellington, in Picton.  That’s half-way, isn’t it?

Fiona had researched and decided we would do the Queen Charlotte Sound mail-boat run.  It’s a leisurely tourist activity, exploring the nooks and crannies of the Sound.  An unexpected bonus of the trip was visiting a mussel farm, where the skipper took possession of a bucket of fresh mussels.  He was just about to boil them all up for us, when I requested he leave me a few uncooked.  I was happily smashing them open, when I happened to glance up to see Peter’s face.  The look of shock on his face projected the thought, “Into what form of barbarism has my daughter married?”

Our next encounter was on his home turf: the farm.  I’m still not sure to this day whether he was deliberately testing my limits when he suggested we go out on the quad bike.  Of course, that meant he would drive and I would sit in the back trailer.  He eventually looked back at some stage to discover, as he was throttling through the long grasses, my hay-fever had kicked in big time.  I had tears streaming down my face.  Disgusted, Peter took me back to house.

I extracted revenge on my final encounter on the farm; Peter decided to let this townie try to help him move his prize sheep.  “Somehow”, I managed to get in front of the herd.  They went the other way.  Peter sent me home, again.

Peter loves gadgets.  He loves upgrading to the latest and greatest.  Peter and I finally bonded.  He would buy the gadgets, then I would visit and help him set them up.  I’m not saying he’s technologically challenged, but I am saying there was plenty to do to keep me occupied on my one week’s vacation.

Peter has gotten involved in setting up the Otautau Museum.  A fitting place, for a dinosaur.

Peter is a gentleman farmer.  This doesn’t mean he farms gentlemen.  It means he now keeps gentlemen’s hours.

Peter finds it difficult to sleep.  He used to be a banker.  He would lie in bed, counting sheep, but then realised he’d made a mistake.  He’d spend the next four hours trying to find the error.

Peter was asked whether he would organise a special birthday party for his mother’s 90th.  His response?  “Awww, I thought we’d wait until her 100th.”

Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, it is Peter’s 80th birthday.  Please charge your glasses and be upstanding, so we can share a toast to Peter, before it’s too late.

To Peter, Before It’s Too Late!

 

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Why I would never make a good farm hand

Thank you, Madam Toastmaster, for that amazing introduction.  After that, I can’t wait to hear what I’m going to say!

Introduction

The following four stories are true.  They all happened to me, and they conclusively prove why I would never make a good farm hand, much to the disgust of my father-in-law, who is a good keen Southland sheep farmer.

BTW, why do cows like being told jokes? Because they like being amoosed!

First, I have chronic hay-fever.

I always knew I suffered from this ever since I was a wee lad in Nelson.  However, I had temporary respite when I moved to study and work in Wellington.  Little did I know, this respite was only because I happened to be working in air-conditioned buildings.

Fiona is also from the South Island.  We met in Wellington.  I went down to visit the in-laws on their farm in Southland.  Pops took me out on the trailer, on the back of this quad bike.  We rode through a field of tall grasses.  He looked back once.  He saw my eyes streaming.  He sent me back to the farm house.  Basically, to him, I was useless!

BTW, did you hear the one about the convict who had allergies?  He broke out.

The second reason, is my educational philosophy.

I always wanted to go to university.  My father-in-law was not impressed with my reasoning.  I told him I wanted to get a degree, because I hated getting my hands dirty.  I didn’t realise at the time that that could be interpreted to mean I thought I was too good for menial tasks.  Whoops!

BTW, I got a job programming computers.  How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?  None; that’s a hardware issue.

Third, I’m a terrible shepherd.

Pops once asked me to help him herd the sheep into the sharing shed.  Somehow, I got in front of the pack.  They went the other way.  Not a great start.

BTW, an accountant was having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get any sleep at night.”

“Have you tried counting sheep?”

“That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend four hours trying to find it.”

The final reason why I would not make a good farm hand, is my lack of good tools.

This is not so much a fun story, but it is true.  I was 5 years old when my parents divorced.  I was raised practically as an only child by my mother, despite having 5 older siblings who were either out of the house or had gone with my father.  So I never got to observe my father doing odd jobs around the house.  And I never got to accumulate useful tools.  Instead, as I grew up, I had to acquire my own tools as various jobs arose.  However, this lead to my purchasing the cheapest and not always the best because I didn’t know any better.

Do you know that old saying, “a poor workman blames his tools”?  This is true on two levels.  The obvious level is that the poor workman is merely making excuses for his poor craftsmanship.  But on another level, a poor workman has poor tools.  This was certainly true for me.

BTW, some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and says, “We need some four-by-twos.”

The clerk replies, “You mean two-by-fours, don’t you?”

The guy scratches his head and says, “I’ll go check,” and goes back to the truck.

He returns and says, “Yeah, I meant two-by-four.”

“All right. How long do you need them?”

The guy pauses for a minute and says, “I better go check.” After a while, he returns to the office and says, “A long time. We’re gonna build a house.”

Conclusion

As you can see, I have four valid reasons why I would never make a good farm hand:

  1. I have chronic hay fever;
  2. My educational philosophy;
  3. I’m a terrible shepherd; and
  4. I have poor tools.

All I can say in my defence is, I found a job I like instead.

BTW, what do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor?
A transfarmer.

 

Engagement Speech

Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is James, I am Tane’s dad.

I have asked to be allowed to speak: to mark this happy occasion with a few appropriate words, to which Tane has graciously granted me his permission.

First of all, I wish to thank you all for coming, to share and celebrate the occasion, but especially those who have travelled the farthest.  I see a few Wellington friends here: (name them).  Welcome to you.  Welcome to Tane’s Aunty Naomi, who travelled all the way from Dunedin.  Where have other people come from?

I wish to express my immense joy and pride in my son, especially at this time.  When they were growing up, my 3 children always knew these 3 things:

  • We loved them all equally; there are no favourites.
  • If two of them argued unreasonably, then the 3rd one won the treat. This was usually Hamish.
  • I have always been proud of each one of them.

Tane was born on Star Wars day: May 4th, 1997.  I infected him with the love of science fiction early, and we’ve enjoyed discussing many shows of that genre.

His names means “Sunday Man”.  He was born on a Sunday, and was in church the following Sunday.  I’m pleased to report, he has never chosen to leave since.

Tane, in Maori means “man”, kind of like “Adam”, because he was our first little man.

Tane lived 6 months in Africa from June to December 1997.  He left NZ as a 7 week old new-born and returned a 7 month old rug rat.

Tane was baptised July 4th, 2005, when he was 8 years old, at his original home church of Wellington Elim.  I baptised him, because we were home-schooling him at that time, and we were his Bible teachers.  A funny thing happened when I dunked him: his bottom came up.  I froze, because I didn’t know what to do next (“he’s not completely immersed!”).  Somebody had to remind me to let him up.  No harm done.

We moved into Manurewa on May 18th, 2013, when Tane was 16.

He met Jess at a Church Youth Group in 2014.  They have been inseparable ever since.  When Tane went with Jess to her second school ball in 2015, is when I knew this was getting serious.

I couldn’t be happier for Tane in his choice of girl.  Jess has won me over, despite my reservations about their youth, for many reasons, these are just a few:

  • She’s a most excellent cos-player. For those not initiated into geeky things, this means she makes and wears her own costumes to science fiction conventions and such.  For 2 years running, Tane & Jess have won our church costume talent show as: Tarzan & Jane one year, and Mary Poppins and Bert the next.
  • She’s beautiful. ‘Nuff said
  • I doubt she knows this, but I was very impressed by something I overheard said one particular day. In our own wedding vows, Fiona and I promised mutual love and respect, but individually, I promised to support her and Fiona promised to follow me.  This may be quaint now, but it’s a vow we’ve always kept.  What I overheard was, while Tane was trying to sort out his tertiary study options, moving back to Wellington was a possibility, to which Jess’s response was a matter-of-fact, to paraphrase a certain Bible verse, “where you go, I will go.  Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.”  Jess, you won my heart then.  John and Donna, I congratulate you on raising a wonderful daughter.

Tane proposed to Jess while on holiday in Paris on 17 August 2016, which brings us up to date.

As of yet, there is no wedding date to announce, because Tane has just learned he has been accepted into Unitech’s Drama Programme.  This potentially means 3 years of tertiary study.  Realistically, I would expect a wedding before then, so watch this space.

In conclusion, an engagement is a fun, but also serious occasion.  It is a binding promise, of the further commitment to come.  It is an opportunity for them to say to us, “This is our intent” and for us to say to them, “we will support you”.

To that end, will you please be upstanding, charge your glasses, and repeat after me: “we will support you.”

Humorously Speaking Project 1

Humorously Speaking

Project 1 – Warm up your audience

Objectives:

  • Prepare a speech that opens with a humorous story.
  • Personalize the story.
  • Deliver the story smoothly and effectively.

 


 

Title: The (On-Going) Adventures of a Motorcycling Noob.

Opening joke:

  • Setup – Imagine, if you will, it’s a cold, wet, miserable morning and I’ve got school. I don’t want to go, but my mum makes me get up. It’s my first day and she wants me to make a good impression. (Pause)
  • Punchline – After all, I am the Principal. (Pause)

Introduction (honorifics)

  • Setup – What’s a Noob, I hear you ask?   A Noob is short for someone who is new to something and therefore is allowed to make mistakes. Like me, with Motorcycling. Before 2013, I’d never attempted to get a motorcycle license. (Pause)
  • Punchline – After hearing these next 3 stories, you as fellow Auckland commuters, may wish I’d never started! (Pause)

Stories:

  1. Teaching Tane to Ride
    1. Setup – At around the same time as I was learning to ride for the first time, my oldest son was also ready to learn.   So we went out to a local car park and I did the IDEER principle: Introduction, Demonstration, Explanation, Execution & Repetition. Except, we didn’t get to the Repetition phase. I had just asked him to mount the bike for the first time and ride forward 10 meters, and stop, which he did perfectly. Unfortunately, it didn’t occur to him that he needed to put his foot down.
    2. Punchline – The bike promptly fell over and smashed both mirrors.
    3. Recovery – We were done with lessons for that day.
  2. Pulling my first wheelie
    1. Setup – Most recently, and most alarmingly, I was waiting at the lights, at the head of the queue. (You know how motorbikes can just slide up the middle to the front? That’s me.) The lights went green and I started out, but my front wheel started to do a sort of shimmy. I thought I was going to fall off. I just managed to right myself and get the rest of the way home. I thought that maybe I hadn’t maintained my bike properly. Maybe some cable had come loose. So I got out the manual for the first time (as you do) to try to figure it out. However, the first pages told me exactly what I’d done wrong.
    2. Punchline – Turns out, I’d pulled my first wheelie!
  3. Motorway accident
    1. Setup – Just prior to that, I had had a serious accident on the motorway. It happened like this: I was burning up the road, just north of Manukau, when a family of ducks were in mortal danger. I had to swerve to avoid hitting them. My front wheel slipped on the extremely greasy surface, and I went down, in front of an on-coming truck. Somehow, the truck managed to stop in time, but I was already bouncing up, after having gouged out huge chunks of the motorway, and was somersaulting over the ducks (remember them?). The bike slid into the car in front (narrowing avoiding the ducks), which had to stop to render assistance (the car, not the ducks, silly. Do try to keep up.). My forward trajectory was finally arrested (in standard hero pose), and I calmly gathered up my fallen steed and wheeled it to the side of the road, forcing all 3 lanes to stop for me. The guy in the car who stopped (who actually had pulled out in front of me) was this little Chinese kiwi man, who was so shaken up, he asked me for a hug!
    2. Punchline – so I gave him one!
    3. Setup – 10 minutes later, an ambulance arrived. They asked me if I required assistance. You know, adrenaline does an amazing thing to a man’s body. I shrugged my shoulders and told them I was fine to go to work. They didn’t quite believe me, but toddled off, leaving some advice to get myself to A&E if “anything changes”. 10 minutes after that, the police arrived. They took our statements, then after about half an hour, let us go. The Chinese man was so worried about me, that he offered to drive me to work.
    4. Punchline – So I let him!
    5. Setup – I got to work, in time for a special morning tea (my real motivation for going). During that time, the adrenaline started to wear off, and I didn’t feel quite right. So I toddled off to A&E for an X-ray.
    6. Punchline – The truth is I had broken my arm in two places.
    7. Setup – I was in a cast for six weeks! I had to recount my story to my boss (in order to explain why I needed time off work).
    8. Punchline – His retelling of my story was so much better that I prefer his version to my more mundane one!

Summary

  • Setup – I’ve come to the conclusion that as a motorcycling noob, I’ve made a significant and sufficient number of mistakes:
    • Forgetting to teach Tane to put his foot down;
    • Forgetting to read the manual; and
    • Avoiding ducks on the motorway.
  • Punchline – That I may well be, the safest motorcyclist on the road today!

 

The Green Thing

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In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own

grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

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The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn’t have the green thing back

in my day.  "The clerk responded, "That’s our problem today.  Your generation did

not care enough to save our environment."
He was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day!!

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Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store.

The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled,

so it could use the same bottles over and over.  So they really were recycled.

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But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day!!

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We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office

building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower

machine every time we had to go two blocks.

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But he was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.!!

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Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-

away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning

up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry the clothes.  Kids got hand-

me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

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But that young upstart is right; we didn’t have the green thing

back in our day!!

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Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the

TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen

the size of a whole wall.

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In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have

electric machines to do everything for us.

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When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old

newspaper to cushion it, not styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

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Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn.

We used a push mower that ran on human power. 

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We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to

run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

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But he’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then!!

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We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic

bottle every time we had a drink of water.

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We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the

razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because

the blade got dull.

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But we didn’t have the green thing back then…No not us!!

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Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus to work.

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Kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms

into a 24-hour taxi service.

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We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets

to power a dozen appliances. 

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And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed

from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find

the nearest pizza joint.

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But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just

because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

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Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in

conservation from a ‘green-minded’  young person.

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The Green Thing….Really!….What do these young people know of the "Green Thing!"
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So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest time if we do not give up. So then, whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all, and especially for those of the family of faith.

– Galatians 6:9-10

METTLE Monthly Newsletter Volume 5 Issue 12

METTLE

Volume 5 Issue 12

December 2010

Hippolite Musings 

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Gentlemen,

In December, I:

  1. Finished rehearsals for Christmas Production;
  2. Attended Johnsonville Christmas Parade; watched Hamish march with St Johns (Aimee was at tap rehearsals);
  3. Attended Telecom Christmas Party at TSB Arena (see photos left);
  4. Attended Squash Club BBQ;
  5. Attended Angela Goodall’s Dance Academy end of year performance of Wonderland;  watched Aimee as a tapping blue caterpillar and Tane as a tapping Card Guard (photos and DVD available for viewing);
  6. Attended Elim One Service for Volunteers;
  7. Attended my first CAB (Change Approval Board) meeting; got my Change Request approved; implemented my final production change for the year;
  8. Gave dramatic performance as King Nebuchadnezzar in Elim production of It’s Cool in the Furnace;
  9. Immediately after the production, shaved off my beard;
  10. Attended Grenada Village Christmas Carols;
  11. Sent Christmas cards and newsletter;
  12. Had a Voice Test for a possible professional dramatic presentation (subsequently not awarded);
  13. Attended KBK (Kids Bible Klub) end of year performance; watched Aimee in a dramatic play;
  14. Attended final Dot Net User Group meeting; went out for final Geek Dinner afterwards;
  15. Attended final Squash Committee meeting re: current building crisis;
  16. Final Align leaders meeting;
  17. Took the kids to a movie; watched Voyage of the Dawn Treader;
  18. Finished work early; took an extra week’s holiday;
  19. Prepared house for painting; cleaned the house for guests; tidied up gardens (correction: Fiona and in-laws tidied up the garden; I took the trailer to the tip);
  20. Took all three kids to the orthodontist;
  21. Pickup in-laws from airport;
  22. Farewelled Daryl Burling from Microsoft;
  23. Distributed chocolate almonds to homes in Taita;
  24. Attended another BBQ; Christmas Eve party at Alan’s;
  25. hosted Align Christmas Service;
  26. Christmas BBQ at Tansley’s; and
  27. Commenced stripping, sanding; priming and painting the house.

Blessings,
James.


World Outreach

WorldOutreach

PLEASE PRAY!

  • MOZAMBIQUE:  Please pray for Kotie & Rina Smit, WO missionaries based in Nacala, northern Mozambique.  They have been attacked and robbed of cash, computers, mobile phones, cameras, and other personal effects, by a band of 6 thieves. Kotie now has a broken arm, cuts and some bruising resulting from the attack.  They tried to slash him with pangas (a machete like tool) several times. Rina said the hand of the Lord was on them as Kotie could easily have been killed. She said they had a real sense of God’s protection throughout the whole incident and didn’t sense any fear. Praise the Lord!  One encouraging aspect in all this is that when the local Mozambiquan community learnt of the robbery and assault, family after family visited the Smits to apologize, to pray and encourage them,. Some came from far away villages.  This really blessed the Smits who had often wondered what effect they and their ministry was having in the region. Kotie & Rina are now in Sth Africa getting medical attention. Kotie is experiencing pain and his arm cannot be put in plaster until the wounds are healed.  Please keep them both in prayer as they recover from this terrible and traumatic time.
  • IVORY COAST.  Janvier & Claudine Yokoinele writes: “The country is going through a situation which only prayer can sort out. After this month’s Presidential elections, the country finds itself in a dangerous situation with the two main candidates claiming to have won. One (the incumbent) is officially recognized by the constitutional council and courts, while the other is self proclaimed and supported by the international community. Only through prayer can this national dilemma be solved.  Civil war could easily result.  All schools have been closed for more than a week and people have been told to stay at home. There is a strict night curfew which will remain in place for at least another week.”  The situation is critical. Please pray for the Ivory Coast.
  • NTH ASIA. Please uphold a WO team living and ministering among an unreached people group in N-W Asia. A potential security issue has arisen that could jeopardize the team’s visas and the means for them to carrying on. Pray that all team members will be safe & protected by the Holy Spirit.   
  • BANGLADESH. Bruce Hills, WOI Leadership Development Director, is ministering at a national conference in Bangladesh this week and would appreciate prayer. Bangladesh is a nation that the WOI leadership want to dedicate more time, personnel and resources to in the training & equipping of leadership and church planters. Pray that Bruce will not only enjoy God’s hand of blessing on him during this time, but also that he will have some divine appointments along the way that will play a key part in helping WOI’s future strategy planning for this spiritually needy land.
  • INDONESIA. Sam & Carol Soukotta, along with staff & students at Tawangmangu Bible College (TBC) are now waiting official word from the Central Java government about reducing the gov’ts asking price for buying the leasehold land on which the TBC campus is located. After a recent meeting with the governor, he said that he was impressed with the “professional way” in which TBC was approaching the whole issue.  Sam Soukotta writes, “So for now we continue to pray and believe the Lord will intervene, through ‘our good example’.  It pays to be in the ‘good books’ of the government!”  Please pray that the land purchase price will be reduced to the present 30% deposit that has already been paid. 
  • David Elliott would appreciate prayer for himself and the multi-national team he is leading to the Living Waters base in West Kalimantan, Indonesia this week. Daily the team will be involved in practical work relating to the ongoing building projects, and in the evenings ministering to the 400+ children that are living on the LW base. Please pray for the team’s travel protections and good health during this 2 week period, and that they will be a huge blessing to all they come in contact with. 

PRAISE!

  • INDIA. Jess Le Bleu is full of praise to the Lord and wants to thank all who persevered in prayer with her for the India visa that she needed in order for her to go and minister in Bihar province. Jess and companion Michelle, fly into India this week.  Praise the Lord!

John Elliott


Why I Am A Climate Realist

BREAKING: Hottest year ever claims based on fake data

You hear it trotted out so often it’s tiresome, but for those who still believe the climate scientists who claim 2010 is "the hottest year ever", here’s a wake-up call: the data is fake. (another perspective here)

It’s a similar stunt I pinged New Zealand’s NIWA for a year ago. It seems anyone with access to a cereal packet is licensed to be a UN endorsed climate scientist these days.

You cannot extrapolate temperatures on a global level from areas where there are no accurate temp readings for hundreds of kilometres. It’s guess work, not science.

And just to pre-empt any timewasting by Ken Perrott, who has consistently tried to defend NIWA, may I remind Ken he has offered no coherent explanation for his flawed logic exposed here:

Meanwhile, some good news.

Air Con Climategate 2010 edition has finally gone on sale in NZ bookshops after we arranged for the US files to be printed locally in Wellington.

Whitcoulls and Paperplus are the best places to try first.

Posted by iwishart on December 15,


Why I Am A Creationist

CMI

Title

Adam and His Kin

The Lost History of Their Lives and Times

Author

Ruth Beechick

Dr. Ruth Beechick is author or editor of more than 100 manuals, workbooks and other items for Bible learning, as well as several books on education topics.  She is a former teacher and professor of education, and is known for her talent in making complex topics clear and understandable.  Adam and His Kin continues in that tradition.

Published

Mott Media, Fenton Michigan,

Format

Softcover, 176 pages

Synopsis

Journey Through the World’s Forgotten Years

History doesn’t have to be drab.  This book is entertaining, informative and remarkably easy to read.  Though not a novel, it weaves into one continuous story information from many sources – including linguistics, archeology, astronomy and other sciences; the Bible and other history; and ancient traditions and religions.  It is neatly arranged within the timeline as given in the Bible  This excursion through an almost forgotten world provides startling insights on many old questions.

  • HAVE history textbooks told us the truth?
  • HOW did mankind learn language?
  • WHERE did the skills of civilization begin?
  • WHY do ancient writings refer to a year of 360 days?
  • WHAT actual events lie behind the mythologies of the world?
  • WHO kept alive the memory of the distant past?

Contents

Preface

  1. The Beginning of Time
  2. In the Garden
  3. The Punishment
  4. Adam’s Children
  5. Cain
  6. Writing in the Stars
  7. The Preachers
  8. Noah
  9. The Year of 1656
  10. The Great Flood
  11. The Calendar Puzzle
  12. Starting Up the New World
  13. Trouble at Ararat
  14. Land of the Two Rivers
  15. The Tower of Bel
  16. Aftermath
  17. Gods and Goddesses
  18. The Death of Noah
  19. Abram

Appendices

A. Writers of Genesis

B. Genesis 1:1 to 11:27a

C. Study Projects

D. Annotated Bibliography

Review

This book builds upon the work of Dr. Henry Morris’ The Genesis Record, which in my opinion is the best commentary ever on Genesis.

It is achingly simple to understand.  You could read it to your pre-teen children and they would get it.  We did.

It successfully achieves its purpose.  The preface explains the author’s decision to write a narrative because “secular history books do not balk at guessing.”  I like that.

When starting with the Bible as your yardstick, the various histories of the world make sense.  Mankind is not evolving.  We are devolving.  We originally were created in the image of God.  Everything since then has been entropy – an increase of chaos, or a decrease of order.

10/10


Why I Am Pro Maori

Get a Grip, People

Again with the foreshore and seabed.  I usually like what the ACT Party have to say about personal responsibility and small government, but when it comes to Maori, they haven’t got a clue.

The original Foreshore and Seabed Act was racist because it specifically prevented Maori from exercising the rights of any other citizen of NZ, to have their property rights tested in a court of law.

The replacement Act has to address that imbalance.  This means some Tribes may be able to prove Customary Entitlement.  This means some land will be cut off from the public estate.  Big deal.  (White) private land owners have been doing that (and profiting from it) for years.

To assume that all Maori will immediately snap up prime real estate and sell it to overseas interests, or worse yet, lock it up for spiritual reasons, is blatant scare-mongering.

Stop bashing Maori, ACT.

James


How to… 

Engage the Culture

I’ve Been Thinking

Fiona and I have resigned from three committees each.  2011 will be our Sabbatical year.  Our responsibilities were:

  • Secretary, Northern Racquets Squash Club
  • Secretary, Grenada Village Residents Association
  • Treasurer, Wellington Home Education Network
  • Membership Secretary, Wellington Home Education Network
  • Budget Advisor, Agape Budgeting Service
  • Librarian, Wellington Home Education Network

We will be focussing on our missionary activity at Align Church Taita.  Specifically, we have voiced an interest in and willingness to head up family ministries there.  We already got a Kids Bible Club and Go Girls team running.  2011 we have been asked to put on a pre-marriage/relationships course.  This will be followed later in the year by a marriage course.

James


Great Scientists…

…Who Believed the Bible

James Clerk Maxwell (1831–1879)

What could be more different than magnetism, electricity, and light? Yet, in the nineteenth century, James Clerk Maxwell showed that these phenomena were simply different manifestations of the same fundamental laws. He described all these, as well as radio waves, radar, and radiant heat, by a unique and elegant system of equations.


Friday Fax

C-FAM

Dear Colleague,

You have another day to donate to the Friday Fax and receive a deduction on your 2010 US taxes. Go to www.c-fam.org/donate/ and please give as much as you can.
We report today on a recent victory of poor countries over rich ones on the question of homosexuality.
We also report on how one abstinence program is saving lives.
Spread the word.

Yours sincerely,
Austin Ruse
President

Countries Reject “Sexual Orientation” Language in Treaty with Europe

By Terrence McKeegan, J.D.
BRUSSELS, December 30 (C-FAM) Developing nations recently slapped down attempts by the European Union to add “sexual orientation” to an existing treaty.
Seventy-nine countries from Africa, the Caribbean, and the Pacific islands sent a letter to the European Parliament that is notable for its strong demand that the EU stop pushing its homosexual agenda on developing countries.  

Supporters Say Truly Comprehensive Sex-Ed Gets Results

By Amanda Pawloski and Samantha Singson
NEW YORK, December 30 (C-FAM) Nothing gets the debate burning hotter at the UN than one over sex education for children.
Last Fall conservative UN delegations angrily protested a report claiming for children a new right to “comprehensive sexuality education.”   


Train a Child

WHEN

Tane

  • Finished third year tap lessons with Commendation for Consistent Effort.  Was an impressive White Queen’s Card Guard in Wonderland.  We all hated the costume, but that’s show business.
  • Demonstrated his prowess at several BBQ by cheerfully being volunteered by his Dad to do the cooking.
  • Finally completed his (much awaiting, long overdue and completely easy just tedious) maths workbook, thus finally earning him Dad’s hand-me-down HTC Touch (Windows 6.1) cellphone.  He’s happy.

Hamish

  • Proudly led St John Cadets in Johnsonville Santa Parade march.
  • I have commenced reading Lord of the Rings to him.  I have accepted his dyslexia unfairly prevents him from earning the right to watch the movies (a prerequisite I placed on Tane).  We are enjoying the journey together.  We finished The Hobbit last month.
  • Has happily accepted Tane’s hand-me-down Pantech 210C cellphone.

Aimee

  • Was a competent and very cute blue caterpillar in Wonderland.
  • Is demonstrating responsibility by looking after a friend’s guinea pigs and budgerigar while they are away on holiday.
  • Is having to wear a plate to correct her teeth at present.  This is preventative, to avoid braces later.  So far, she hasn’t been very diligent and has had to have the plate reset twice.  The plate is a source of some fascination at Align Church among the kids.  I can see that their parents are not able to afford good dental treatment.  I see how the poverty cycle can be hard to escape.  It is a source of concern to me.

Why I Am Pro-Israel

OneJerusalem 

Weekly Review: December 26, 2010

Dear Friend of Jerusalem,

Here are the latest headlines from the One Jerusalem Blog:

  • Christmas in the Palestinian Authority – A Latma Christmas Carol
  • Islamic War Against Jews, Christians, .. In Holy Land:  Nina Shea has published a troubling, enlightening, and timely essay on the Islamic war against the religions that make this season holy for most of the world. Shea writes:These figures in the Christmas story represent the principal monotheistic religions of…
  • "Israeli War Crimes" in Seattle:  A Seattle bus company has allowed an anti-Israel group to advertise anti-Israel propaganda on Seattle City buses.  A local Seattle media outlet has a poll asking for your vote.  Vote NO!…

Sincerely, The One Jerusalem Team


Humour

Husband Learns Love Is More Than Words

For the first 15 years of my marriage, I was a terrible husband. Diane held down a full-time job, became my secretary, mothered our daughters, and waited on me hand and foot without ever demanding that I lift a finger to help. I loved my wife very much, but I hadn’t yet learned how to show my love. I had a lesson to learn, and God used a vacuum cleaner to teach it.

I learned many things about vacuuming one day. First, I learned that our cat was terrified of vacuum cleaners. That kept me entertained for about an hour.

As I vacuumed in one direction, a stripe would appear. Going the opposite direction would create a stripe of a different shade. Entranced, I striped the whole room. Then I went crossways, creating a checkerboard pattern. I got so carried away that I dusted the furniture and straightened the entire house.

I was once again embedded in the easy chair, working on my crossword puzzle, when Diane came home. She struggled through the door with a bag of groceries under each arm, kicked the door shut with one foot, and then took in the house with an expert glance. Her mouth dropped open. Slowly the bags slipped from her grasp and dropped to the floor. "Who did this?" she asked.

"I did," I said. Without warning, she attacked. Diving on me before I could get out of the chair, she smothered me with kisses and hugs, showering gratitude on me for helping her. The kisses grew more passionate. We broke the chair. It was wonderful!

The vacuum cleaner taught me an important lesson that day. Love is expressed with more than just words.

—Ken Davis, Lighten Up! Great Stories from One of America’s Favorite Storytellers (Zondervan, 2000), pp. 123-124


Events Schedule

 

In this section, I highlight dates, times and venues of events either I am presenting at, or of interest to METTLE.  I’m available for bookings.

When

What

Where

Who

8-Jan-11

Robotics Fundraiser (Sausage Sizzle)

Noel Leemings, Porirua

Hamish

9-Jan-11

Sunday Service

Wellington Elim

Sam Soukotta

10-Jan-11

Back to Work

Telecom, Grand Arcade

James

14-17 Jan

Missions for Africa

Hippolite House

Ross Campbell

16-Jan-11

Church in the Community

Stokes Valley Pool

Align Church

23-Jan-11

Sunday Morning Service

Wellington Elim

Bruce Corcoran

23-Jan-11

Church in the Community

Eastbourne/Beach

Align Church

30-Jan-11

Church in the Community

Avalon Park

Align Church

10-14 Jul-2011

PDC 10

LA

Microsoft

Bible Reading 

You can look up for yourselves at: http://BibleReader.AlignChurch.org.nz/.


End Notes

  • METTLE is an acronym for Men’s Evangelical Team Together for Learning Experiences. We are primarily Christian businessmen from Wellington, who meet occasionally in the CBD to encourage each other in our daily walk with Jesus. This Monthly Collaborative Blog (MCB) is our primary means of communication.  If you know of anyone who may benefit from this MCB, you are welcome to forward them along. Similarly, if your circumstances are such that membership in this distribution list is no longer relevant, then hit reply and type UNSUBSCRIBE to have it removed.
  • If you choose to respond to any item raised in this MCB, please indicate clearly which items you wish to remain Private, as any correspondence may be considered Public and could be published.
  • If this newsletter has been of benefit to you, why not drop a line and say so.  Or better yet, visit the TVORNZ website to read past issues and add a comment!
  • Published by The Voice of Reason, New Zealand, copyright © 2006-2011.

METTLE Monthly Newsletter Volume 5 Issue 11

METTLE

Volume 5 Issue 11

November 2010

Hippolite Musings 

Northern_Prizegiving_Nov_2010_098

Gentlemen,

In November, I:

  1. Conquered the Project Management tool which Telecom uses by entering 3 months actuals and 1 months forecast work for the 8 staff in my team.  I’m a trainee Team Lead!
  2. Finished Spring Interclub (Squash) competitions.  Harrumph.
  3. Attended Northern Squash prize giving (see photo left).
  4. Attended copious rehearsals as King Nebuchadnezzar in Elim’s production of “It’s Cool in the Furnace!
  5. Gave my Creation presentation once again, this time to a men’s group at Elim.  Took great questions.  Very positive experience.
  6. Attended Guy Fawkes Celebrations at Frank Kitts Park (courtesy of a BNZ staff friend).  Got out of the rain by going across the road (courtesy of Telecom House access card).
  7. Attended another Vex Robotics Scrimmage.
  8. Attended a mate’s birthday BBQ.  ‘Tis the season!
  9. Sent Aimee for her first camp away from home without us (St. John’s).
  10. Ran four Align Bible Club services.
  11. Received direction on how to maximise My Personal Performance (MPP) reporting.  This is corporate-speak for complying with my quarterly performance reviews.
  12. Fixing up WHEN library database in preparation for handing it over to somebody else.  Yippee!
  13. Sat and failed my Windows Communication Foundation exam.  Ah, well, there’s always next month!
  14. Studied (before and after exam) materials for said exam.
  15. Met with Martin Steel, pastor of Harbourside Church and mentor to Align Church.  Received (more) leadership training.  Asked seriously tricky questions.  Got straight answers.
  16. Took ABC class to Heaven’s Gates, Hell’s Flames drama at Avalon AOG.
  17. Took final minutes as Secretary for Grenada Village Community Association at AGM.  Presented finances as acting Treasurer.
  18. Assisted Fiona to handover Membership Secretary duties of WHEN.
  19. Align Leaders Workshop (Praise Centre, Wainuiomata).
  20. Guitar lessons.
  21. Gave promo of musical production at church.
  22. Delivered one project.  Picked up three more.  Christmas is always busy (people trying to get stuff finished before the shutdown period).

Blessings,
James.


World Outreach

WorldOutreach

PLEASE PRAY!

  • INDONESIA. This coming Monday, Nov 22 the Principal of Tawangmangu Bible College (TBC) and an attorney of Justice will meet with the Governor of Central Java to request that the authorities reduce their price for the TBC campus land to the 30% deposit that has already been paid. Other land owners on Mt Tawangmangu are also protesting the gov’t’s high freehold fee on their land, with most landowners not willing to pay.  Sam & Carol Soukotta ask that we remember to pray for this very important meeting on Monday, in particular that the favour of the Lord will be toward TBC. Thank you.
    Please also remember John LeRoy in prayer as he continues to recover after contracting typhoid and dengue fever last month in West Kalimantan, Indonesia.
  • MOZAMBIQUE. A WO team is presently in northern Mozambique ministering to some 400 Koti leaders and they request our prayers. In particular they are asking for wisdom to know how to encourage & guide some of the Koti who sense the Holy Spirit directing them to go and minister among the Mwani people group further north, near the border with Tanzania. Pray too for a rich anointing of the Holy Spirit on the Koti gathering, for healing of bodies that are afflicted with malaria and other diseases, and that the inner working of the Holy Spirit will continue to transform the Koti people from their former pagan ways, and baptize them afresh in the Father’s love.   
  • WO2010. Prayer is requested as members of the WO International leadership meet on Mon, Nov 29 to discuss and sign off on important policies relating to the organization’s journey of change that began back in 2003.  At present 90% of what was targeted to happen by the end of 2010 has been achieved. The Nov 29 meeting will help sign off on the remaining outstanding items.
  • VISAS. Please pray for Jessica (India), Tony & Annette (Thailand) and Jason & Anne (Indonesia) who all need the favour of the Lord for the approval of their visas so they can continue serving the Lord in their respective nations.   

PRAISE!

  • THAILAND.  Lorraine Dierck, WO Thailand field leader writes: “Our church-planting teams are doing well with much fruit, and continuing to baptise new believers every day. Outstanding miracles continue to happen as these uneducated brand-new believers step out in faith and pray for blind eyes to be open, lame legs to start walking – and they do! The new churches are now preparing for their first Christmas as followers of Jesus, and as you can imagine, they are wisely planning how they can use the Christmas story to bring their families and friends to faith in Jesus Christ.”
  • ETHIOPIA. Daniels’ father Tammen is an important man who leads 5 mosques in South West Ethiopia.  Through the testimonies and witness of some friends, Daniel became a believer in Jesus Christ and steadily grew in his new found faith even though he experienced much opposition and persecution. He now is pastoring a church in a Muslim community. Recently he witnessed to the leader of the local mosque and the man and his whole family eventually became followers of Jesus Christ.  Within three days of the mosque leader’s conversion his oldest son suddenly passed away. He refused to bury his son in the traditional manner but wanted his son buried at the Christian cemetery.  Some five thousand Muslims attended burial and listened intently to a clear presentation of the Gospel.  Shortly afterwards when at Friday prayers, a Mosque Sheik told his congregation that they should beat the Christians and kill Daniel. As he was about to publicly announce this over the loud speaker system, a heavy rain storm fell on the mosque and surrounding area and nobody could hear the announcement.  Then a lightning strike destroyed the crescent and moon on top of the mosque and part of the building was damaged.  The mosque sheik was shocked and frightened by what had happened so declared, “don’t touch the Christians because their God is more powerful.”   Since then there is peace and Daniel has seen the church grow with more coming to listen to the preaching of the Word of God every week.

John Elliott


Koinonia House News

KHouse

IMPORTANT NEWS HEADLINES

  • 69 Children Saved From Prostitution Rings
    November 09, 2010
    A three-day federal crackdown on child prostitution rings across the country has resulted in the recovery of 69 children and the arrest of 884 people, including 99 pimps, federal authorities said Monday. There are now 39 Innocence Lost task forces and working groups throughout the country. So far, those units have recovered 1,250 children, and the initiative has resulted in 438 indictments, 625 convictions, 153 criminal enterprises disrupted and 58 successfully dismantled, authorities said.
    – CNN
  • Bible Distribution Nixed At Michigan Schools
    November 09, 2010
    A school district in southern Michigan is stopping a longstanding practice of allowing the Gideons to distribute Bibles in the hallways of its elementary school after a parent complained to the district’s superintendent. Superintendent Mike Potts told The Christian Post on Tuesday that the district is not taking a stand on whether Bibles are right or wrong but simply following regulations as a government agency. "We cannot condone the passing any literature of that nature regardless of who’s passing it out," said Potts.
    – The Christian Post
  • China and Russia Vow To Advance Military Cooperation
    November 09, 2010
    China and Russia, vowing to advance military ties, signed an agreement in Beijing Tuesday for developing military cooperation between their two countries. The signing came during a one-day visit to China by Russian Defense Minister Anatoly Serdyukov, RIA Novosti reported. A spokeswoman for Serdyukov said the accord involves contracts to supply spare parts for air defense systems, aviation and navy equipment.
    – UPI
  • Oklahoma Sharia Law Ban Blocked For Now
    November 08, 2010
    A popular new law that bars Oklahoma courts from considering Islamic law, or Shariah, when deciding cases was put on hold Monday after a prominent Muslim in the state won a temporary restraining order in federal court. US District Court Judge Vicki Miles-LeGrange ruled that the measure, which passed by a large margin in last Tuesday’s elections, would be suspended until a hearing on Nov. 22, when she will listen to arguments on whether the court’s temporary injunction should become permanent.
    – Fox News
  • Intelligent Design in The Hebrew
    November 06, 2010
    In the Hebrew version of Wikipedia, the page on intelligent design translates ID with the phrase "tichnun tivoni," which means something like "intelligent planning." And so it’s translated regularly too in Ha’aretz and other Israeli news sources. The Wiki page is well supplied with the usual distortions that you’d expect from Wikipedia in any language, but never mind that. The question of how to translate "intelligent design" into the language of the Bible is an interesting one. Is there an actual Biblical phrase that captures the idea?
    – Evolution News and Views

Why I Am A Climate Realist

Climategate video of the year

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-uzNBtdYOo

James says:

This video is a hard-hitting exposé of the tactics used by Climate Alarmists to distort the truth and spread fear, uncertainty and doubt in order to advance, or at the very least maintain their grasp of tax-funded tenures.


Why I Am A Creationist

CMI

  • Pew survey reveals widespread religious ignorance
    When the Pew Forum surveyed Americans’ knowledge of various religions, no one really scored well. What are the implications for the Church? Gary Bates and Lita Cosner suggest a solution in their analysis.
  • Does chromosome fusion prove common ancestry?
    Evolutionists claim that evidence of chromosome fusion in humans, who have 23 pairs of chromosomes, proves that we were descended from apes, who have 24 pairs. But Dominic Statham shows that for evolutionists, their interpretation amounts to “Heads I win, tails you lose”.
  • Mammoth burgers served on buns?
    New Scientist has published new evidence of widespread flour production in ‘stone age’ Europe. In this article, CMI-Australia’s David Catchpoole shows how evolutionary assumptions about the diet of ancient humans caused scientists to completely overlook this evidence.
  • Creation.com classic: The evolution train’s a-comin’
    Don’t the small changes we see in living things today prove that, given millions of years, those small changes could add up to evolution? In this classic article from Creation magazine, Carl Wieland says no; because the changes are heading in the wrong direction! Read The evolution train’s a-comin’ (sorry, a’goin’—in the wrong direction).
  • Exciting new feature. Get creation.com on your mobile!
    Need an answer on the go? Now it’s easy to access our over-7500 fully searchable articles through any web-connected cell phone: just go to creation.mobi.
  • Creation talks by satellite—with a twist…
    CMI speaker and satellite scientist Dr Mark Harwood has commenced recording a series of 16 sessions of 30 minutes each for an Arabic Christian TV Channel that provides content for satellite-based channels over Australia and New Zealand, plus also for possible Middle East coverage. The interesting ‘twist’ is that the programs will be transmitted by a satellite that Mark actually designed! If you haven’t already got it, we highly recommend Mark’s latest DVD, Elephants in the Room.

Why I Am Pro Maori

KAUMATUA & RANGATAHI RUNANGA REPRESENTATIVE NOMINATIONS

Nominations for Kaumatua and Rangatahi representation on the Board of Te Runanga O Toa Rangatira Inc, are now open.

The Kaumatua positions are for

  • 1 x koroua, and
  • 1 x kuia

The Rangatahi positions are for

  • 1 x kotiro, and
  • 1 x tamatane

If you would like to nominate an iwi member to the Board of Te Runanga O Toa Rangatira Inc., please click here to access the nomination form on the Ngati Toa website or contact the Runanga office on the number listed below.

Nominations close on 6 December 2010 and nomination forms and supporting documents must be received at the Runanga office by 5pm, Monday 6th December 2010.

All nominees and nominators must be registered members through whakapapa, reside in New Zealand and be 18 years of age and over.

In the case of the Rangatahi (both kotiro and tamatane), the nominees must be at least 18 years of age and be no older than 27 at election day, that is 18 February 2011.

Voting papers will be sent to registered Iwi members. Postal votes will close 6pm Wednesday 17 February.

A Special General Meeting will be held Puna Ora, Takapuwahia on Thursday 18 February 2011 where a final opportunity to vote will be available. Voting will open at 10am and close at 3pm. 

WE REQUEST YOU SHARE THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS EMAIL WITH WHANAU MEMBERS THAT MAY NOT HAVE ACCESS TO EMAIL OR THE INTERNET.

If there are any questions regarding this information contained in this email please phone the Runanga on 04 237 7922 or email runanga@ngatitoa.iwi.nz

Missy Te Kahu
Iwi Registration Administrator
Te Runanga O Toa Rangatira Inc
Phone: (04) 237 7922
Email: missy@ngatitoa.iwi.nz
Website: http://ngatitoa.maori.nz


How to… 

Engage the Culture

What struck me as odd this month was the Pike River Mine disaster.  The outpouring of grief; the decision to hold a state funeral; the unprecedented (I was a child and didn’t notice Erebus) public attention.  For 29 coal miners nobody had ever heard of before, at a West Coast mine nobody knew existed.

God got a mention.  This was good.  Even the atheists who want to ignore Him, couldn’t resist trying to lay the blame at His feet.  Which is highly amusing, because their faith position offers no hope nor succour to the families of the miners.  Meanwhile, the churches cooperation in Greymouth contributed to a very positive image of Christian unity.

And finally, I have to agree with the lone letter to the editor who exposed an (in hind site) obvious contributing factor to the accident: that the Greens value snails over the lives of those men by forcing the mine to tunnel rather than allow open cast mining. 

Snails are not taonga.  People are taonga.


Great Scientists…

…Who Believed the Bible

Joseph Lister (1827–1912)

Imagine making a discovery so important that a whole branch of science dates its calendar by it.  That is what happened because of a Christian doctor.  Joseph Lister’s discovery of antisepsis has led some to divide the history of medicine into the eras “before Lister” and “after Lister.”  His work did more to save lives in the hospital than any other in history.  Surprisingly, it took nearly a generation for his discovery to become accepted.  He faced strong opposition from doctors and surgeons who didn’t believe him and weren’t about to change their ways.  In the end, however, because of Lister’s perseverance in teaching what he knew was right, and from the dramatic success of those who followed his procedures, his ideas finally took hold, and at his death, he was a world-wide hero.


Friday Fax

C-FAM

Dear Colleague,

Today Terrence McKeegan reports on the Holy Father’s historic vigil for all unborn human life.  People from around the world participated in their local churches, and 10,000 people participated in Rome.  

Amanda Pawloski reports on the UN Youth Conference.  For lack of money, sponsors, and organization the conference might not happen next summer.    

Spread the word. 

Sincerely,

Austin Ruse
President

Pope Leads Worldwide Prayer Vigil for Unborn Life

By Terrence McKeegan, J.D.

ROME, December 2 (C-FAM) Last Saturday, Pope Benedict XVI led an unprecedented global prayer vigil for unborn life in Rome that was repeated in countries around the world. Ten thousand faithful jammed St. Peter’s Basilica including many children who were presented to the Holy Father.

In his remarks, the pope offered support to those working in the pro-life movement. “I wish to express my thanks to all who have taken up this invitation and those who are specifically dedicated to welcoming and safeguarding human life in different situations of fragility, especially in its early days and in its early stages,” he said. 

Dithering Over UN Youth Conference

By Amanda Pawloski

NEW YORK, December 2 (C-FAM) If present dithering is any indication, the promised global conference celebrating the UN International Year of Youth may not happen after all.

As it stands now, governments at the UN cannot decide on a date, sponsor, funding, or venue. However, some fear that a hasty youth conference will be thrown together at the last minute, given the example set by the World Youth Conference in Mexico this past August. 


Train a Child

WHEN

Tane

  • Had rehearsals for his tap class end-of-year production of Wonderland, playing one of the Queen’s guards;
  • Had rehearsals as a guard for King Nebuchadnezzar in Elim’s production of It’s Cool in the Furnace
  • Hmm maybe there’s a theme developing here.
  • Started attending The Rock Church’s FITE (youth group) instead of Onslow Community Church’s TYG.  Not sure of the desirability or rightness of changing, but at least he’s wanting to go to something reasonably positive.

Hamish

  • Is getting jaded with the hard work of deconstructing and re-building robots now.  Now we’ll see if he has an engineer’s tenacity;
  • Is enjoying learning guitar chords from me, and we can play simple duets now;
  • Has discovered that St John’s award merit badges for community service, and that helping to lead Children’s Church at Align qualifies.  He’s much more focussed there now.
  • We sold his unused, second-hand drums on Trade Me.  He got a reasonable portion of the money.  He promptly chose a replacement toy.  We went to Dick Smith to buy a walkie-talkie set with 3km range.  We discovered the batteries were extra and expensive.  He negotiated a loan with me.  He was not entirely pleased with his new acquisition, until he’d earned some money to extinguish the debt.  Now he’s happy and learned a valuable lesson (so has Dad – I won’t do that again).

Aimee

  • Went away on St John’s camp.  Made a friend.  Talked heaps.  Slept little.  A great time was had by all.
  • House was quiet in her absence.  Ah bliss.
  • Was also in Angela Goodall’s Dance Academy production of Wonderland.  Played one of the tapping caterpillars.  Very cute.  As the oldest in her class, was a capable leader.

Why I Am Pro-Israel

OneJerusalem 

Weekly Review: November 28, 2010

Dear Friend of Jerusalem,

Here are the latest headlines from the One Jerusalem Blog:

  • He Didn’t Care if Children Died
    No we are not talking about Adolph Hitler or Joseph Stalin or Mao. We are reporting the words of a teenage Muslim who wanted to blow innocent people up at a Christmas celebration in Portland Oregon.  Mohamed Osam Mohamud is the…
  • Palestinian Blogger Arrested by Fatah: 
    The press keeps referring to Fatah as moderates, the civilized ones Israel should embrace. One Jerusalem has often documented the uncivil nature of Fatah and its Palestinian Authority (PA). To their long list of incivility to their own people you…
  • Muslims Violate French Law…While the Police Watch: 
    watch the video
  • Palestinian Authority Denies Jewish Origin of the Western Wall: 
    Over the years, One Jerusalem has recorded examples of Palestinian leaders denying an ancient Jewish presence in Jerusalem. Well this week they publicly displayed their contempt for Israel’s claim that the Western Wall was constructed by Jews. In an official…
  • Jews Are The Offspring of Pigs and Apes: 
    That Muslim children in England are learning such drivel is (unfortunately) not a great surprise. But what is surprising and encouraging is that the British news media is treating this story with the contempt it deserves.The Daily Mail, Britain’s largest…

Sincerely, The One Jerusalem Team


Humour

She Learned Her Lesson

I was the new teacher for the toddler-age Sunday school class, which included my 14-month-old daughter. During a lesson on creation, I’d ask questions like, "Who made the trees?" or "Who made the sun?" and the children would respond, "God did." I was pleased the children learned quickly that God made everything.

Teaching lessons at home was more of a challenge. I had tried hard to teach my daughter to pick up her toys, and she wasn’t learning very quickly. One day I walked into the living room to find toys scattered everywhere. In exasperation I asked, "Who made this mess?" My daughter looked at me with a proud smile and said, "God did!"

—Carol J. Rivest, "Heart to Heart," Today’s Christian Woman


Events Schedule

 

In this section, I highlight dates, times and venues of events either I am presenting at, or of interest to METTLE.  I’m available for bookings.

When

What

Where

Who

4-Dec

Advanced Students Concert

Raroa Intermediate School

Tane

4-Dec

Telecom Christmas Party

TSB Arena

N/A

4-5 Dec

Angela Goodall’s Dance Academy presents Wonderland

Memorial Theatre, Victoria University of Wellington

Tane & Aimee Hippolite

10-12 Dec

It’s Cool In the Furnace

Elim Church Wellington

James et al

12-Dec

Robotics Scrimmage

Scots College

N/A

13-Dec

Christmas Carols

Grenada Village Community Hall

All

14-Dec

TechNet Unplugged

Intercontinental Wellington

Microsoft

14-Dec

Kids Bible Klub EOY performance

Newlands Christian Assembly

Aimee Hippolite

15-Dec

2010 Final Wellington Geek Dinner

TBA

N/A

19-Dec

Elim Carol Service

Wellington Elim

All

25-Dec

Christmas

Everywhere

Everyone

10-14 July 2011

PDC 10

LA

Microsoft


Bible Reading 

You can look up for yourselves at: http://BibleReader.AlignChurch.org.nz/.


End Notes

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