Instead of demanding to know “who’s pressing my buttons?” you could try asking, “why am I still providing the buttons which can so easily be pressed?”
- Your spirit is God’s gift to you (that’s life), but your character is your gift to God.
- Psalm 116:15 “precious in His sight.”
- If you don’t like the person you’ve become, all you have to do is change your mind.
This flies in the face of modern culture “love yourself, accept yourself, authenticity”
- The problem with that is, we haven’t defined authenticity.
- Authenticity is becoming like Christ.
- Sovereignty means being able to change.
The counsellor’s boundary:
- I don’t bust my heart wanting something better for somebody else, than they want for themselves.
- Respect the sovereignty of the person.
God is utterly powerless in the face of your sovereignty
- The handle to the door of your heart is on the inside.
- God will let you walk into Hell, if you choose it.
Success demands focus:
- Focus demands commitment.
- Fear of being trapped prevents commitment.
- So, your fear of feeling your unbearable feeling ,will sabotage your success.
- You will avoid the possibility of pushing your bruises.
Riddell’s model of therapy is based on persuasion:
- Not domination or coercion.
- Not client-centred therapy.
- Persuaders like St Paul & Jesus.
If the Truth will set you free:
- Then an insight will set you free.
- Not self-discipline.
Anger is a continuum between frustration and rage:
- “Be frustrated, but sin not”
- “The anger of Man, never achieves the righteousness of God.”
- Cultural or relative e.g. taste, style
- Eternal or absolute e.g. principle
One unbearable feeling can set you up for a world of hurt:
- You will do anything to avoid your one unbearable feeling, including doing lots of negative behaviour.
- No matter what your ethics are, your unbearable feeling trumps them.
- You will revert to the behaviour of the age you were when you suffered your unbearable feeling.
The whole solution to resolving the problem of unbearable feelings:
- Get used to it.
- e.g. Failure isn’t fatal, it’s feedback. If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth doing badly, while I’m getting better.
- If failure is your unbearable feeling, you’ll become a quitter.
“Knowing ourselves with a Christ-centred methodology”